The Laws according to Sheritopia

If you put hand lotion on your hands, you will have to go to the washroom shortly after, causing you to wash your hands and undo all of the good of the hand lotion.

If you have to go to the washroom badly and feel that it might be rude, there will be other people in the public washroom you are forced to use, and the courtesy flush will not disguise any noises.

Chicken fingers, fries, root-beer, and a chocolate chocolate chip cookie for lunch sound like a good idea, but I direct you at this time to review the second law on the list.

This is just a start.